If you\u2019re reading this blog, it probably means that you care\u2026 You care about others, and that\u2019s a beautiful thing. What you\u2019ve probably realised somewhere along the journey is that your well-intentioned desire to help fellow human beings can come at a cost. An extreme scenario would be where your help backfires and ends up worsening the situation. A more common situation is one whereby helping someone you care about, be it a friend or a colleague, ends up being detrimental to you. How do you know if it\u2019s happening? It\u2019s pretty simple, you\u2019ll feel drained.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve experienced the latter both in my personal life, desperately trying to help people who weren\u2019t ready to get helped, and in my early days as a life coach. So how do<\/em> you help others without hurting yourself? The good news is that there are simple ways to make sure you can carry on being supportive to those around you without <\/em>feeling like you need to lock yourself up in a monastery to recover from it.<\/p>\n What do I mean by that? Make sure that the person you wish to help is actually open to it. You might be thinking \u201cduh\u201d, but it isn\u2019t as obvious as you might think. You would be amazed to see how many people end up resenting their loved ones going Olivia Pope on them (any Scandal fans out there?) without their explicit consent. No one likes to be \u201cfixed\u201d or \u201chandled\u201d, no matter how well intentioned you might be. Sometimes people just want to have a safe space to talk, vent until they find clarity in their own time.<\/p>\n \u201cYou can\u2019t pour from an empty cup\u201d might be a clich\u00e9 but it is still sound advice. Offering to take on your colleague\u2019s assignment because they have asked you for support or because you know that they have a lot on their plate is very noble. However, you must ask yourself: how will this impact me? Depending on the scope, you could enlist a third benevolent person to spread out the workload. Alternatively, you could clearly state what part of the work you are able to take on, thus managing expectations.<\/p>\n We\u2019ve all been there, pouring every ounce of energy into helping someone out of a deadlock, including...cough\u2026unhealthy relationships. You go over and over the same issues, come up with solutions that would make Dr Phil proud and yet, it\u2019s only a matter of days before you end up having the same exact conversation, as if you\u2019d turned back time, with no progress in sight! It can feel very frustrating, I know. This often happens because the person has intellectually registered the need for change but isn\u2019t ready to make it happen. And that\u2019s OK. Gracefully start removing yourself from said debates, avoid giving advice and gently bring the conversation to more neutral grounds.<\/p>\n ----<\/p>\n For more tips and insights on how to feel good and do good, check out the rest of my blog<\/a> and sign up for my newsletter<\/a> if you haven\u2019t already \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" If you\u2019re reading this blog, it probably means that you care\u2026 You care about others, and that\u2019s a beautiful thing. What you\u2019ve probably realised somewhere along the journey is that your well-intentioned desire to help fellow human beings can come at a cost. An extreme scenario would be where your help backfires and ends up […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":6438,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[25,5,22,19],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\n1. Do your research<\/strong><\/h3>\n
2. Keep your wellbeing in mind<\/strong><\/h3>\n
3. Know when to bow out<\/h3>\n