{"id":5613,"date":"2017-07-13T11:38:25","date_gmt":"2017-07-13T11:38:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/fadelahilali.com\/?p=5613"},"modified":"2023-01-10T21:14:55","modified_gmt":"2023-01-10T21:14:55","slug":"3-things-every-child-should-hear-growing-up","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fadelahilali.com\/3-things-every-child-should-hear-growing-up\/","title":{"rendered":"3 Things Every Child Should Hear Growing Up"},"content":{"rendered":"

My experience around young children is almost invariably the same: a precious blend of candour, light-heartedness, playfulness, and curiosity. Childhood is a beautiful thing, so much so that embracing our \u201cinner child\u2019 has become a buzz phrase in the wellbeing community. But that\u2019s not the phrase I had in mind when writing this article.<\/p>\n

How it starts<\/h3>\n

As innate as these qualities are to children, they are also influenced by the type of interactions we, caring adults, create. Now let\u2019s be crystal clear and get this one out of the way: I know every single person reading this article cares immensely for the happiness of their child and would NEVER consciously do anything that could jeopardise their wellbeing.<\/p>\n

And yet, a big chunk of my childhood does not exactly match my previous description. My parents showered me with love and attention; I was curious and playful but the one thing I wasn\u2019t was carefree<\/em>. I became self-conscious about my weight at the age of 5 as well intentioned grown ups in my circles started to take an interest in my weight. It would usually go like this, \u201cshe has such a pretty face, shame she is so chubby\u201d or \u201cshe would be so beautiful if she lost weight\u201d. In fact, I even found a baby video of me where you can clearly hear someone in the background commenting on how I was \u201cdrinking milk like a glutton\u201d with everyone chuckling in response. They were just joking, no big deal, right? Maybe not on its own, but there was more where that came from\u2026<\/p>\n

I was put on my first diet when I was 8. That diet was followed by many more which eventually led to almost two decades of rock-bottom self-worth and various eating disorders. Both my teens and early twenties were marked by my desperate attempts to feel validated, especially by those closest to me. I would have done anything to feel beautiful in their eyes. I've described the experience in my book STUFFED: how to feel so good about yourself you won't have room for cake<\/a>.<\/p>\n

What to do<\/h3>\n

I wish I could tell my younger self what I know today and here is what I would say:<\/p>\n

1.   You are enough<\/strong><\/h4>\n

Because their enoughness is non-negotiable. They are worthy beyond measure, regardless of how they look, how they do in school or what people think of them. Because they are beautiful and beauty is so much more than a face or a body. No \u201cbut\u201d.<\/p>\n

2.   I believe in you<\/strong><\/h4>\n

Life inevitably gets confusing, complicated, and sometimes a little scary. Cheering for children from a young age, praising both effort and achievement, is paramount to helping them build a healthy sense of self. You may think it\u2019s obvious but with so much criticism out there, it\u2019s not always that simple. So say it, tell them you believe in them, you can never say it too much.<\/p>\n

3.   I love you<\/strong><\/h4>\n

Of course, you do. Of course, it\u2019s unconditional. But again, they need to feel it<\/em>, see it<\/em> and hear it<\/em>. Let them know that they are loveable, remind them as often as necessary, especially when things get rocky in their life.<\/p>\n

Our words have an impact and while nobody is perfect, let us try our best, one day at a time, to empower the children around us by what we choose to say to them and to ourselves in their presence.<\/p>\n

\n

For more wellbeing insights, check out the rest of my blog<\/a> and sign up for my newsletter.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My experience around young children is almost invariably the same: a precious blend of candour, light-heartedness, playfulness, and curiosity. Childhood is a beautiful thing, so much so that embracing our \u201cinner child\u2019 has become a buzz phrase in the wellbeing community. But that\u2019s not the phrase I had in mind when writing this article. How […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":6462,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[26,6],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\n3 Things Every Child Should Hear Growing Up - Fadela Hilali<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"How do you make sure your children grow up to be confident and caring adults? It all starts in their early childhood and it is shaped by our interactions with them. Let's make sure they count! Here are the 3 things every child should hear growing up\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/fadelahilali.com\/3-things-every-child-should-hear-growing-up\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"3 Things Every Child Should Hear Growing Up - Fadela Hilali\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"How do you make sure your children grow up to be confident and caring adults? It all starts in their early childhood and it is shaped by our interactions with them. Let's make sure they count! Here are the 3 things every child should hear growing up\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/fadelahilali.com\/3-things-every-child-should-hear-growing-up\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Fadela Hilali\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2017-07-13T11:38:25+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2023-01-10T21:14:55+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/fadelahilali.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/3-Things-Every-Child-Should-Hear-Growing-Up.webp\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"500\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"417\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/webp\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Fadela Hilali\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Fadela Hilali\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fadelahilali.com\/3-things-every-child-should-hear-growing-up\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/fadelahilali.com\/3-things-every-child-should-hear-growing-up\/\",\"name\":\"3 Things Every Child Should Hear Growing Up - Fadela Hilali\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fadelahilali.com\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2017-07-13T11:38:25+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-01-10T21:14:55+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fadelahilali.com\/#\/schema\/person\/c416f2b599897ca681cb012e94b84284\"},\"description\":\"How do you make sure your children grow up to be confident and caring adults? It all starts in their early childhood and it is shaped by our interactions with them. Let's make sure they count! Here are the 3 things every child should hear growing up\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fadelahilali.com\/3-things-every-child-should-hear-growing-up\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/fadelahilali.com\/3-things-every-child-should-hear-growing-up\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fadelahilali.com\/3-things-every-child-should-hear-growing-up\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/fadelahilali.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"3 Things Every Child Should Hear Growing Up\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fadelahilali.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/fadelahilali.com\/\",\"name\":\"Fadela Hilali\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/fadelahilali.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fadelahilali.com\/#\/schema\/person\/c416f2b599897ca681cb012e94b84284\",\"name\":\"Fadela Hilali\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fadelahilali.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/45ea881ac4eb02addc3f6377d3863ece?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/45ea881ac4eb02addc3f6377d3863ece?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Fadela Hilali\"},\"url\":\"https:\/\/fadelahilali.com\/author\/fadelafadelahilali-com\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"3 Things Every Child Should Hear Growing Up - Fadela Hilali","description":"How do you make sure your children grow up to be confident and caring adults? It all starts in their early childhood and it is shaped by our interactions with them. Let's make sure they count! Here are the 3 things every child should hear growing up","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/fadelahilali.com\/3-things-every-child-should-hear-growing-up\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"3 Things Every Child Should Hear Growing Up - Fadela Hilali","og_description":"How do you make sure your children grow up to be confident and caring adults? It all starts in their early childhood and it is shaped by our interactions with them. Let's make sure they count! Here are the 3 things every child should hear growing up","og_url":"https:\/\/fadelahilali.com\/3-things-every-child-should-hear-growing-up\/","og_site_name":"Fadela Hilali","article_published_time":"2017-07-13T11:38:25+00:00","article_modified_time":"2023-01-10T21:14:55+00:00","og_image":[{"width":500,"height":417,"url":"https:\/\/fadelahilali.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/3-Things-Every-Child-Should-Hear-Growing-Up.webp","type":"image\/webp"}],"author":"Fadela Hilali","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Fadela Hilali","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/fadelahilali.com\/3-things-every-child-should-hear-growing-up\/","url":"https:\/\/fadelahilali.com\/3-things-every-child-should-hear-growing-up\/","name":"3 Things Every Child Should Hear Growing Up - Fadela Hilali","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/fadelahilali.com\/#website"},"datePublished":"2017-07-13T11:38:25+00:00","dateModified":"2023-01-10T21:14:55+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/fadelahilali.com\/#\/schema\/person\/c416f2b599897ca681cb012e94b84284"},"description":"How do you make sure your children grow up to be confident and caring adults? It all starts in their early childhood and it is shaped by our interactions with them. Let's make sure they count! Here are the 3 things every child should hear growing up","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/fadelahilali.com\/3-things-every-child-should-hear-growing-up\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/fadelahilali.com\/3-things-every-child-should-hear-growing-up\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/fadelahilali.com\/3-things-every-child-should-hear-growing-up\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/fadelahilali.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"3 Things Every Child Should Hear Growing Up"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/fadelahilali.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/fadelahilali.com\/","name":"Fadela Hilali","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/fadelahilali.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/fadelahilali.com\/#\/schema\/person\/c416f2b599897ca681cb012e94b84284","name":"Fadela Hilali","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/fadelahilali.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/45ea881ac4eb02addc3f6377d3863ece?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/45ea881ac4eb02addc3f6377d3863ece?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Fadela Hilali"},"url":"https:\/\/fadelahilali.com\/author\/fadelafadelahilali-com\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/fadelahilali.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5613"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/fadelahilali.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/fadelahilali.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fadelahilali.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fadelahilali.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5613"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/fadelahilali.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5613\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fadelahilali.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6462"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/fadelahilali.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5613"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fadelahilali.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5613"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fadelahilali.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5613"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}