October 20, 2017 Fadela Hilali

5 Habits to Stop Comparing and Despairing

I used to compare myself to others ALL the time. I have two gorgeous older sisters and despite the age gap between us, I’ve spent most of my teens and early twenties wishing I was slim like them, as likeable as them, as independent and so on…Even throughout my early twenties, I would have given anything to have a magic wand that would have transformed me into whoever I thought was so much more beautiful, intelligent, successful, determined than I was.

Having role models is fine, being inspired and motivated by others’ achievements is actually healthy. What’s not so healthy however is to let external factors and comparisons determine our self worth. If you’ve been comparing and despairing for some time, it may be difficult to imagine going on about life any other way. But it is possible and here is how:

1. Set new benchmarks:

The only person worth comparing yourself to is YOU. Set yourself personal development goals and measure your progress on a monthly basis.

2. Admiration, not envy:

Sure you can admire someone or their achievements. Make them a source of inspiration to keep going after what matters to you.

3. Gratefulness: 

Make it a habit to notice the good things that happen to you on a daily basis, however small they might be. I often tell my clients to keep a gratitude journal where they write on a daily basis. It could be a stranger giving you their seat in public transport, a compliment you received, an fun lunch with your colleague. The more we cultivate our gratitude muscle, the stronger our sense of self-worth.

4. Humourise:

Nothing like verbalising our insecurities to close friends to recognise the funny side of it all and how seriously we take ourselves.

5. Giving: 

Last but not least, helping others who are less fortunate than us is an excellent way to put things in perspective and giving back to our community is a truly rewarding experience.

If you’ve found this useful, make sure you check out “How to deal with your inner critic”

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