October 23, 2019 Fadela Hilali

Do you have high standards or unrealistic expectations

Many of us strive to reach and maintain high standards in our personal and professional life. We want to be the best versions of ourselves. We want healthy lifestyles, meaningful careers, fulfilling relationships and the list goes on.

But how do you know when high standards become unrealistic expectations?

Nothing is ever good enough

It’s difficult to stay motivated in the long run when we don’t have a habit of recognising and valuing the results of our hard work. Let’s use the example of being in a relationship. How would you feel if your partner systematically picked on the few things you did wrong, completely dismissing ALL the other positive things you do? How would you feel if they made it a habit of focusing on your weaknesses, unable to appreciate the numerous qualities you do have? It would feel horrible! 

There is no room for error

When we feel too much pressure to get things right all the time, it can lead to paralysis. Interestingly, while we may worry too much about what other people think of us, their opinions will never be as harsh as the critical ones we have of ourselves! I heard someone say that our biggest enemy is often our “inner me”, I couldn’t agree more.

It’s really important to make sure that our self-worth does not become intertwined with a set of life rules, achievements or worst, unrealistic expectations! Our self-esteem is not up for debate, it is not something that fluctuates based on our perceived level of success, relationship status or physical appearance. 

Keeping things balanced

Having a healthy self-esteem is not about believing that we are perfect, or that there is no room for improvement. You can seek personal growth and strive to achieve more while still feeling that you are good enough. It’s about evaluating yourself fairly, recognising your weaknesses, things you can work on while appreciating your strengths.

If you struggle with self-doubt and want to grow your confidence, be sure to join my Confidence mailing list. I will be delivering a number of free master classes in the upcoming weeks before the launch of my Confidence Bootcamp course in early 2020.  Stay tuned!

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